Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
