Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think my moral compass just broke
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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