Your face is a jimmy john
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
