I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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