There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The air was thick with penises
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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