It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
