Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
