You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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