eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
