$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
