One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
