belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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