I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
