I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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