No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
did i walk over a car last night?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
