Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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