try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
