ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
