You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
