At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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