People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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