so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
