I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
