I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
