okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
