okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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