why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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