he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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