Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
True college students do jello shots in the library
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
