Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
