I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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