Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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