we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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