Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
