Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
