1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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