the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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