What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
