More tranny stories later!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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