that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
