I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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