after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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