So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
