I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
