I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
