Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
