So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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