Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
