Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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