one two three fourrrrnication!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
