I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
