I would go down on you faster than GM stock
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
