My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
